Grasping for the unknown

I’m going to be completely transparent and candid here. Have you ever felt like you were looking for something—a change, different scenery, a direction to strive for, a new religion, a new career path, a new fashion style, an enlightenment, a complete personality overhaul, something, anything—but you have no idea what it is?

I have encountered this predicament so many times in my life that I have lost count. I’m in it again and, as always, it puts me in a weird funk. Now let me just say this right off the bat: I am fully aware of what I DO have in my life and appreciate how lucky I am to have what I have. However.....

I thought it was a change of scenery that I needed, if only temporarily, but that wasn’t it. I just got back from yet another epic trip to Australia to visit my best friend thinking that would do the trick. But, the second I got back I was right back to feeling lost again.

I can’t be the only one who is reaching and grasping for something, but cannot see what it actually is. You nearly drive yourself mad trying to figure out exactly what it is. Sometimes it is recognizing that your job is going nowhere and you feel like you have no purpose. Maybe you’re drawn to a different form of spirituality, but you’re too afraid to make that jump because all you know is what you were raised up on. Perhaps it is wanting to change your personality and how people perceive you or your complete sense of style and get a whole new wardrobe. Sometimes you want a new house in a new city altogether! Maybe even a new country! Whatever it have no idea what it is or how to get it. That sucks.

I am most at peace and happiest when I’m outdoors, in nature, surrounded by animals, and the feeling of the grass under my feet. Hard to have that in the middle of suburbia. I know I have many talents and skills, but none of which I can earn enough to call it a career. I spoke to a friend about this before and he said that when we feel this way we perhaps need a goal to chase. The only goal I had has been extinguished (by my own hand, no less), so that option is off the table for me.

Tell me folks—do you ever feel like this or am I the only crazy person who goes through this from time to time? How do you recognize what it is that your heart and soul need to become happy?

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